It was July. I remember it like yesterday. I sat in my office, editing photos and wondering how life would play out in the coming year. I was worried, because that’s what I do. I worry. I worry when I should trust. I worry when I should pray. I worry when I should let it go. It’s just in my blood. I sat there literally in tears because of my bookings for 2016. I had invested SO MUCH into my work last year. I spent a lot of money on building my brand via workshops, learning opportunities, a new webpage and blog and equipment. My expenses were through the roof. I was pouring everything I could right back into this business in order to grow it. And I was also investing every spare moment I had in it too. I spent late nights editing to increase my client blogging/gallery turnaround time. I spent hours making a custom bridal guide for my future brides. I spent naptimes listening to podcasts on business. I spent carpool lines reading business books. I answered emails and made phone calls while watching my kids play. I waived many date nights in order to finish up this last session or write tomorrow’s blog post. I poured every bit of myself into this business. And I was still worried.

What I should have done was just relax. Trusted. FOCUSED on what I had before me. My calendar for the year was still great! Next year would work itself out. Because let’s be honest, most bookings are just a few months out, not over a year. But I let fear get to me and take me.

Fear can be immobilizing. It can keep you standing still too long. It can do the exact opposite of what you want. It takes ahold of you and keeps you from dipping your toes in the deep waters that could lead you just where you want to go.

Looking back now, I laugh because I doubled my wedding bookings for 2016 the following week after that worry break down. It did work itself out. But what i realized is this…

The times when I worry the most it usually means I am right about to the tipping point. When I work and push and get right to the very end of that uphill climb, that is when I worry. But if I just take a deep breath and keep climbing, I will soon see the other side.

I came across this quote and I think it is just perfect:

“When a person is determined to not just succeed but to do work that matters, the world makes room for such ambition.”

This past year was a turning point for my business. The first few years of business were about learning. Getting better technically and learning how to manage the business side. The years to follow that were about finding my niche in the business (weddings, newborns, and maternity). Then I hit a few years of personal time growing my family and working through medical issues with my hubby. And now the past year has been a year of learning to work smarter and figure out WHY I do what I do. At the end of 2013, I knew that my business couldn’t continue the way it was. I couldn’t grow or succeed if I simply showed up, took photos, and shared them online. There was some crucial steps missing for a long time and that was because my focus was on other things (learning or growing). And it was time to set the learning aside and work on the focus. Being a photographer sounded like such an amazing job! Right? You get to do something you love and make money. But that wasn’t enough. I needed purpose within my work. A reason to miss out on time with my family beyond taking photos. My family was sacrificing for me to chase this dream. It needed a good reason. This business is about so much more than pretty pictures. It’s about my core beliefs. It’s about serving and loving my clients. It’s about pouring my heart into something I believe in- Love. It’s about showing the world that Love is so wonderful and marriage can be so beautiful.

As I start 2016 with an amazing line-up of clients, I feel so blessed. Not only because I am doing something I love, but because I know I am doing it all for the right reasons.