Look what you made me do

The pursuit of perfect. That was my life.  Perfect pretty instagram feeds.  Perfectly thought out words.  Perfect.

Oh friends, this is one of those honest posts that are almost scary to publish, but I am sharing it anyway.

In the words of Taylor Swift- Look what you make me do…

Things are changing all around in my life right now.  Travis went back to work full time, which is the right move for us, but brings a whole new series of challenges (like scheduling nightmares for my work during the week).  I haven’t shared this because well, honestly the decision was just so personal.  We love what we do.  We love photographing weddings together and we will still be doing that- but things like insurance and retirement are just so important for our family right now.  So he went back to work.  And it left me finding a new way.  I can no longer say “I need to pull an office day” and edit or blog or do all the social media things anymore.  And I felt like I was constantly behind.  My smallest two kiddos are still home (until preschool starts back next week) and I have to balance ALL THE THINGS.  And sadly, we lost our weekly breakfast dates too.  So we are finding a new way in all of our lives.  It may sound like a whiny post and really it isn’t.

You see the last few years I have been mainstreaming my business systems down to a science.  I can shoot, edit, and blog with ease.  Keeping up with mileage, money, taxes, emails- it is all worked out.  I know how to run this thing in my sleep.  So having less office time is ok.  But something still has to give.  So this week, I did it.  I QUIT.  I quit instagram and Facebook.  I quit about 25 groups that I was in.  I quit following almost 600 people.  I quit feeling obligated to share my posts on every platform. I quit trying to perfectly plan out when to post and what to say in that darn caption.  I just quit.  I had so many RULES for social media.  So many things I had to follow and then one day I realized- it doesn’t even matter.  I mean, it really doesn’t matter at all.  Everyone in the small business world will tell you over and over that social media is the way to go.  And the only way to win with social media is to get more followers and more likes and more comments and just ALL THESE THINGS.  And while I had a great group of fellow small business owners that I networked with, I just hated the time suck it took.  Then one day it hit me.  My business was successful long before I had a perfectly curated instagram feed.  My business was successful before I did all these things.  So it won’t fall apart without them.

  I love what I do.  I love the way my work and my life has transformed the last few years of chasing this dream full time.  I love the connections I have made with amazing clients and vendors turned friends and even other photographers I have met along the way.  Many days it is just me here in my house.  I sit with my phone or iPad or computer and view the world from one little angle.  And I have found so much comfort in connecting with others online.  But I simply can’t do all the things.  I just can’t.  So I decided to go back to doing things my way.  I will still be posting on social media.  And I can honestly say since weeding down my feed, I love hopping on there now because it isn’t flooded with things I don’t even care to see.  I can see the people I care about and the things that inspire me and not worry about scrolling through everything else (can I get an amen?!?).  I think one of the biggest things I learned in this weeding down process too is that change is ok.  My feed was filled with all the newborn props and vendors that I loved and adored.  But now that my newborn work is on the back burner, I didn’t need that in my feed. It was annoying when I had to scroll past it.  So I stopped following all things baby.  BOOM DONE!  And it felt so good.

I am sharing this because really it is so much more than a small business thing.  The world is filled with people telling us what to do.  Bride’s- I know you have a million things you are “supposed to do at your wedding”  or “that you can’t do because ______ already did that.”  Am I right?  But guess what, it doesn’t matter.  You like it, do it.  You don’t like it, don’t do it!  It is YOUR wedding.  And trust me, following your own way is liberating!!  So really this post is just here to tell you that you too can quit giving your time and attention to things that don’t matter.  To things that society has told us are important.  You can make your own decisions.  You can do things your way!  It is inspiring!  So go be YOU!

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